what i sometimes need to live

let me breathe through your mouth 

let me see through your eyes 

let me hear through your ears

let me touch and feel your skin 

let me feel in your heart

私のなかの泉

相手の気持ちがわからなくて
自分を見失うこと
自分に自信がなくて
人から愛されてないと思い込むこと


なんて世界を私は生きていたのだろう

愛することがこんなにシンプルなことだったとは


わたしの中から溢れ出す想いは
どんなに想っても涸れることなく
何かあっても変わることなく
ひとすじのひかりを受けて輝く泉のよう 


あなたはいつもそこにいて
私を心の目でみていてくれる
ただそれを感じていればいいだけ



私のなかには宇宙があり
アカシックレコードでさえも
望めばいつも受けとることができる

それは私のなかの真実


なのになぜ涙はこんなにも溢れてくるのだろう
まるで涸れることのない泉のように



 

ache

you give me a space where i can breathe.
you make a hole in me
where i feel there’s light.
you show me the place
which i feel perfect
that i crave and long,
almost reach but not yet.

you give me delight
but sometimes too bright
which causes me screaming or 
crying-like irritation and rashes inside me
that i dont know how to deal with,
and that i cant stand
while i dont taste it right.

i want to know what it is actually, 
tell me if you know,
i want to be connected with you, 
beyond that, i feel, i can grab it and reach there

it’s a ache in my heart but
i want to taste it
all the time with you

this is what you gave me
with your simple words
like when you hold me
in your arms

everglow

what i was most scared of was
every moment, the beautiful moments we had 
would fade and become 'good old memories'
and even my flame inside would be fade and gone

i was afraid that you would be gone from my life


but it was all wrong and illusion
that my fear made me to feel

the moments we spent are still vivid in me
and you and my unconditional love glows forever


i knew it
i should have known it
that i could trust you from the first


and i could trust myself all the time
holding this radiant love forever


i deserve what i believe


you are always holding me in your warm space
making me calm and peaceful

what a soul you are ..always radiate
the brightest light you lead me

circle of our songs

‘I have your words,
I have your beautiful song..’


and i have your words
holding in my heart
which flow in me
as beautiful songs



and mine flow back in you
this circle of melodies
flows endlessly drawing
spirals of light up into sky


so let me share you another words
and pass me yours if mine sound in you

encounter

i've been listening to one song these days all the time continueing
 'song for someone' 

it reminds me of the moment i saw you for the first time. 
you were listening to something which you said chinese music. 
you were working alone, standing showing your back, 
i couldn't see your face 
but you looked alone, away from other people, 

i don't really remember what i thought then. 
but unconsciously i felt, wanted to reach to talk to you, 
like my friend's cat which found me and came to hold me, 
i was magnetized to you 
even when i didn't know you; 
even without the fact that you love things what i love
and the way of life which i also love

i wanted to sit near you when we had the late lunch all together. 
so i did, and to know about you more, the things like above.

i didn't know why the idea came to me to visit the gallery i brought you after work,
i only thought it's nice for both of us, because i really wanted to go there to see the potter's work. 

the thing which caught my heart most was that
you were just looking up into the air around 
to feel the atmosphere of the mountain
when we were to go back,
cause i was the one who always does the same.
i felt you were the one who have the same soul i can share with.

i wanted to stay talking with you as long as we can 
on the way back to the station, 
so i was happy there were fewer trains and i could drive to the next station. 

all these things happened so naturally 
and kept me feel so happy staying with you. 

what an encounter was brought to me..
and it never fade in me.
you changed my life, literally

for joy

 

i was wondering why and for what i continue posting, 
sending messages to you. 
to make you pleased? 
for my confidence? 
to keep in touch? 
not to make you go away?

i thought if this is to satisfy myself, 
nothing should have changed if i quit for a while. 
i will find any tiny happiness in my own life, 
you will stay in me, 
and you will do your things with your free will any way.

but at the same time i wondered if you would talk to me then, if i quit, 
whether you worry about me and ask if i'm ok, (like i did) or you just go away, 
and whether it would cause myself keep waiting and get nerves.  
i have asked many times and still asking myself inside, 
if this is what my self wants to, 
if i want to keep you here and make you worry, 
if i try to force.

and then i feel i dont want to, 
i cannot force anyone and anything.

and i remember i have found myself 
as a person who searches the light and the beauty from the nature
and shares them to you and other people.



i'm only here for joy
not to suffer
 
so again i try to continue it, hoping you still like it.

it's all up to mine as you were me, myself, 
cause we are all here for joy, not to suffer.  

what a intuition you brought me.