for joy

 

i was wondering why and for what i continue posting, 
sending messages to you. 
to make you pleased? 
for my confidence? 
to keep in touch? 
not to make you go away?

i thought if this is to satisfy myself, 
nothing should have changed if i quit for a while. 
i will find any tiny happiness in my own life, 
you will stay in me, 
and you will do your things with your free will any way.

but at the same time i wondered if you would talk to me then, if i quit, 
whether you worry about me and ask if i'm ok, (like i did) or you just go away, 
and whether it would cause myself keep waiting and get nerves.  
i have asked many times and still asking myself inside, 
if this is what my self wants to, 
if i want to keep you here and make you worry, 
if i try to force.

and then i feel i dont want to, 
i cannot force anyone and anything.

and i remember i have found myself 
as a person who searches the light and the beauty from the nature
and shares them to you and other people.



i'm only here for joy
not to suffer
 
so again i try to continue it, hoping you still like it.

it's all up to mine as you were me, myself, 
cause we are all here for joy, not to suffer.  

what a intuition you brought me.