slightly scent of hydrangea

while you’re still sleeping...


i have caught a scent of something sweet, 
maybe the mixture of greens and flowers floating 
in the air and has come to me by the wind, 

i remembered you caught 
a slight scent of hydrangea in that park..




it was really slight scent 
that i felt its really hard to catch..and 

i was happy that you have that sensitive nose...

so that we can share beauty and joy of life 
with the small beautiful things 
which make our life brighter



i was reading a book called 
‘Patt of silver forest’
by Lucy M Montgomery, 
where i has just read 
they are counting small beautiful things

and noticed i, and you are the ones 
who can share their feelings..too

it’s one big thing i really appreciate..


have a beautiful morning

feeling

i don’t see what’s in your mind

i see what you’re feeling

it’s all i can feel and trust about

but people tend to weight

what they’re trying to believe in their mind

so i sometimes make mistake

only following what i feel you’re feeling

morning mood

you wrote me before

that you are rather listener...

you’re right, 

you always patiently listen to my story, 

till the end

always, letting me talk first.

i’m really happy 

to have a great person like you 

for i’m the one who always 

want to share many things...to you

yet although i want to hear you too 

so you should talk about you sometimes...

and i’m really happy now. 

you hear me and i feel i’m accepted as i am

i’m in the calm peaceful feeling

and want to talk to you more...

maybe this kind of thing i’m going to share 

is what i want to share you most, 

more than what i experienced or saw 

or the things i felt inside myself

because i can feel it with you

so read this slowly, 

try to feel the mood i had, 

like when i share my photos, 

this time only with words...

but try to feel as you are here with me...

*   *   *

in morning mood, 

i often awake around so early

when the sun about to rise, 

still staying in my bed,

feeling it, 

trying to hold it

or staying in the air

as long as i can...

it’s the time 

getting lighter outside, 

birds are singing so early 

and loudly. 

i can see the big tree 

next to and over my house. 

the air is still cool and moist..

it’s early morning and 

you’ve never been here in morning, 

but i feel like you are here, 

near the tree, 

floating in the air

embraced in the deep green leaves.

maybe the air smells and feels

like what we had and felt

in the park the evening we met for the last time.

or the place we visited on the first day we met.

you can feel it

we can still feel it together 

i try to feel, sense,

realize and recognize it...

i want to hold,

don’t want to loose but stay still...

and i fall asleep again 

until the time i really have to get up. 

it’s the time i keep with tender 

not to awake so clearly but 

to stay in the state of dreaming and

in my sense

*

good morning my dear

have a beautiful day

memory

there’s no memory

faded away

it’s still there

where you don’t see

inside at the deepest part

sometimes

it comes out

clearly and vividly

surprisingly

when you need it

*

i tell you

it didn't fade away really

your voice

your eyes

your hands

your words...

all in me

i still remember vividly

ほんとうは

ぼやけて かすんだ

とおく淡い（泡い）

記憶など

ひとつもなくて

.

ただ わたしの視えないところに

仕舞い込まれているだけ

.

そこに ちゃんとある

.

時折り 不意に

必要なときに

鮮明に 蘇り

はっとさせられる

you see

if you feel this closer and magical
it’s because you see this
through my eyes

if you feel the air as if you’re with me
and makes you calm like i do feel
it’s because I capture all for you to see

it’s not what someone unknown took
somewhere at far end of the world
even if it’s a breathtaking view
it’s kind of what you feel so far

this view here is all for you
it’s only for you to feel with me
that’s why you feel it so close
even beyond thousands of miles
you’re here and feel it through me

treasures i find

i find little treasure each day,
beautiful thing one can find 
the moment i love
which nature gives me
every single day

it’s me

that’s all and the best i can do
cause there’s only the beautiful 
i can see in the world

it’s my world
where i can create
anything i want to see

morning visions

yesterday i woke up remembering the dream i dreamt
 
there were you living with me in my house
i was busy doing morning matters before leaving for work
 
busy morning of my normal daily life but with you
 


this morning i had a vision
that you were still sleeping next to me
 
i was waking up, seeing you in morning sun already light.
touching your hand and touching your face.
 
you opened your eyes, looked sleepy,
but smiling to me, as i did too.

 
the happiest morning ever

ever i've wished.

who you are

i don’t speak so many languages,
nor draw or paint so well.
i don’t really know how to grow plants,
and not work so much.

 
i don’t know how to be loved,
as you do all so well.



i’m tiny person, however
i know i still have something
that i can be loved as i am just me
you have led me to find it.

 

and you have something more.
it’s not what you’re doing


do you really think i want words like
'you are strong, smart, talented person'?
i rather want 'you may be small and weak but i still love you'

so i understand you don't either
although i'm so much proud of what you're doing 
but rather
it’s just you are existing
wherever you go
all the way you give me the bliss
that i’ve never ever known and tasted before
why can it be difficult for you to know it

 
remember who you really are
that you radiate happiness
and attract people to yourself
as i am to you always.

my magic words

hold my hands in yours
intertwine your fingers to mine
as they would never really be apart


 
hold me in your arms
gently or tightly
curl me up inside you
like a baby 
naked as i was born

feel my skin through your heat
as it merges into yours

 
kiss me my forehead
your lips on my cheeks
my neck, my ears...

touch me where
you haven't yet

 
soft voice whispering
is it yours or mine?
which takes me into the place
where i can hear 
only the sound of my little sigh
to which you ask what i'm suffering for


no it's too bright and beautiful
that i can only surrender 
as we always can't see the end

my silver lake

close your eyes
as i do too



it is my lake.

how can i express this?


floating, sparkling, spreading...
into deep or higher

as it always takes me to the space
where we can share
all and ever inside us

like the night of shallow purple sky we had
we see the shining surface of the water
under the light of full moon 
quietly and silently
without even speaking 
we feel it the same


oh how much i wish you could follow me
and let me share you this
ever and ever

as we promised to visit there to swim in...
i go backwards till you catch me


 

first snow

i once see with your eyes of a painter

but then with my eyes of a realist

cause it's so real 
it can't be anything else, can be?
 

oh my, oh my, oh my..., oh...
how can i express this for you
my picture can never express what i feel
nor my poor words
nothing is more than this beauty of nature


and i tell you
this is the moment i feel your light
you may light my sight and
make it so so divinely beautiful
that i can do nothing but only to cry 


and you just have to come here with me
cause i'm the only one who knows where it is...


you have so much left to see 
what i really wanted to share...

(it's been snowing from around noon

it has changed everything
i saw it on trees)

lavender oil

when i got headache
you tenderly advised me
that lavender oil is good

to put it onto the place 'between eyebrows and ears'
(we both dont know how to call it in english
so you just told me so)
and to put a bit in tea and drink it.

you asked me 'do you have lavender?'
oh yes of course i have,
it's one of the basic oils must have at home  : )

i tried it of course
to put it onto my skin
and to my head and massage it

and then put it into my tea cup

but when i hold it to my mouth
(naturally you close your eyes)
i could only feel like
you were smelling it here

i became you
and the bitter taste of the oil
still remains in my mouth

then the lavender's scent means
you to me

it will never be smelled
before reminding of you



and now my headache is almost gone
thank you for your tenderness
i always feel you are caring me


on the rainy new moon...

filled with pink

i seldom wear pink dress
even though i really want to 
because i can’t find the right color i want
it’s so hard to find and get
like this fragile color of the sky

a friend of mine said 
the reason i want to wear pink is
it’s me,
it's all about me inside 
filled with pinkerest color
and people feel unconsciously like
making outside looks the same as inside
it's funny
 
if i find this, the same color on a shelf,
i would definitely get one for me...

how i can manage

when you're away
you make me crazy
you dont just leave me alone staying calm

when i could talk with you
you grab my heart and dont leave me still
i even feel so hard to breathe
that i wonder how i can deal with my emotion
and my heart so fast beating loud


oh, you should see my posts as often as you can.
you should know how much it can change everything to me

like i’m moved seeing the sky
and then you’re moved with my words
i would be moved at the same time

you radiate something so strong to me
that i cant describe or manage it alright

spring of creativity

the creation is my words
the words i create is myself
it comes from my truth
it's all what i felt real or 
what i experienced actually

 
it's timeless work of concentration
like a deep meditation
i only feel the depth of the source
time flies away in my single glance
or it stays still in one single second

 
word comes from the deepest part
like pouring out from a spring
which never knows the limit

 
it's a spring of love
you always make it full
always full with eternity of love
so it never gets dry

source of my creativity

you may think
how i'm not always patient
that i'm writing to you so many times
that i'm so talkative all the time

yes, i can talk endlessly with you
because you give me such a peaceful mood
like i'm free, relaxed at hom
while we can stay together in silence for long


 
it's you that i see first when i wake up
i want to feel you all the time
i want to see always and actually find beautiful things
then i want to share them to you

yes, i am always like this
but you see
there's my creativity within it

because you give me so many inspirations
and you make me strong


 
i always find beautiful things 
then make something 
more beautiful out of it

you are the source of my creativity