slightly scent of hydrangea

while you’re still sleeping...


i have caught a scent of something sweet, 
maybe the mixture of greens and flowers floating 
in the air and has come to me by the wind, 

i remembered you caught 
a slight scent of hydrangea in that park..




it was really slight scent 
that i felt its really hard to catch..and 

i was happy that you have that sensitive nose...

so that we can share beauty and joy of life 
with the small beautiful things 
which make our life brighter



i was reading a book called 
‘Patt of silver forest’
by Lucy M Montgomery, 
where i has just read 
they are counting small beautiful things

and noticed i, and you are the ones 
who can share their feelings..too

it’s one big thing i really appreciate..


have a beautiful morning

feeling

i don’t see what’s in your mind

i see what you’re feeling

it’s all i can feel and trust about

but people tend to weight

what they’re trying to believe in their mind

so i sometimes make mistake

only following what i feel you’re feeling

morning mood

you wrote me before

that you are rather listener...

you’re right, 

you always patiently listen to my story, 

till the end

always, letting me talk first.

i’m really happy 

to have a great person like you 

for i’m the one who always 

want to share many things...to you

yet although i want to hear you too 

so you should talk about you sometimes...

and i’m really happy now. 

you hear me and i feel i’m accepted as i am

i’m in the calm peaceful feeling

and want to talk to you more...

maybe this kind of thing i’m going to share 

is what i want to share you most, 

more than what i experienced or saw 

or the things i felt inside myself

because i can feel it with you

so read this slowly, 

try to feel the mood i had, 

like when i share my photos, 

this time only with words...

but try to feel as you are here with me...

*   *   *

in morning mood, 

i often awake around so early

when the sun about to rise, 

still staying in my bed,

feeling it, 

trying to hold it

or staying in the air

as long as i can...

it’s the time 

getting lighter outside, 

birds are singing so early 

and loudly. 

i can see the big tree 

next to and over my house. 

the air is still cool and moist..

it’s early morning and 

you’ve never been here in morning, 

but i feel like you are here, 

near the tree, 

floating in the air

embraced in the deep green leaves.

maybe the air smells and feels

like what we had and felt

in the park the evening we met for the last time.

or the place we visited on the first day we met.

you can feel it

we can still feel it together 

i try to feel, sense,

realize and recognize it...

i want to hold,

don’t want to loose but stay still...

and i fall asleep again 

until the time i really have to get up. 

it’s the time i keep with tender 

not to awake so clearly but 

to stay in the state of dreaming and

in my sense

*

good morning my dear

have a beautiful day

beauty of nature

love is most beautiful thing we know

and beauty is love

peace

calm

quietness

when i have its bliss

i want to see all
i want to hear
i want to taste
i want to smell
i want to experience

i want to feel

all

and i do feel all
with every surface of my skin
with mouthful of the air
sinking into its depth
or floating to the highest

it's enough
but i want more

how can i taste the most
there's not any limit

we want higher and higher

this is love

this is

just me

memory

there’s no memory

faded away

it’s still there

where you don’t see

inside at the deepest part

sometimes

it comes out

clearly and vividly

surprisingly

when you need it

*

i tell you

it didn't fade away really

your voice

your eyes

your hands

your words...

all in me

i still remember vividly

ほんとうは

ぼやけて かすんだ

とおく淡い（泡い）

記憶など

ひとつもなくて

.

ただ わたしの視えないところに

仕舞い込まれているだけ

.

そこに ちゃんとある

.

時折り 不意に

必要なときに

鮮明に 蘇り

はっとさせられる

you see

if you feel this closer and magical
it’s because you see this
through my eyes

if you feel the air as if you’re with me
and makes you calm like i do feel
it’s because I capture all for you to see

it’s not what someone unknown took
somewhere at far end of the world
even if it’s a breathtaking view
it’s kind of what you feel so far

this view here is all for you
it’s only for you to feel with me
that’s why you feel it so close
even beyond thousands of miles
you’re here and feel it through me

treasures i find

i find little treasure each day,
beautiful thing one can find 
the moment i love
which nature gives me
every single day

it’s me

that’s all and the best i can do
cause there’s only the beautiful 
i can see in the world

it’s my world
where i can create
anything i want to see

rain and sunshine

the moment I had today
is just like the life as it is;
a bit of rain with 
dark clouds in the sky
but sun ray
still shines on you 
so bright




ちょっとの雨と黒い雲
それでも輝くお日様のひかり

今日のお天気雨は
まるで人生そのもの

雪の春分

雪のふる春分

人は出会いや別れを繰り返して
なんの為に生きているのでしょう
 


魂の学びのため
心に愛と感謝、平和をもちつづけ
この世を美しく輝かせるため

でもまだまだ自分は弱くて
人に依存していて 自立もできていなくて
執着をどうしても手放せない
ちっとも変わっていない

と いろんなことに気づかされ
日々感謝して生きていますが


本当はそんなの建て前で

魂の学びとか
そんなことどうだっていいじゃん
依存したって 執着したって
迷惑かけたって
自分中心だって
怠けてたって

願いをかなえて
幸せを感じて
好きなことだけして
楽をして生きたい
ただ人生を楽しみたいだけ

てあっけらかんと言いたいのに

やっぱり
人を助けたいとか おこがましいこと言って
お利口さんの仮面をかぶりたいのかな

嬉しい嬉しい出会いと
辛い辛い別れがあって
そんなことを思い知らされている春分です


なんて
考えだすと訳がわからない
弱さもさらけ出せる自分を演じたいのかも
なんだか計算高い人みたいです
ここまで吐き出す自分を
いやまだまだ出しきってはないけれど
ちょっぴり恥ずかしく感じる反面
癒されるから書いてるのかもしれません

そして涙は
毎日のように流れるけれど
寄せては返し
苦しみも悲しみも洗い流す引き潮となり
静かな浜べに あたらしい朝が訪れ
美しいひかりが届くとき
私はたくさんの愛で包まれて
微笑んでいることに気づきます

人生ってこんなにも素晴らしいって

そう雪にかすむ雲のむこうには
たくさんのひかりが
このあたらしい宙（そら）の一年
あたらしい季節を祝福して
降り注いでいると思うのです

そのひかりに包まれるとき
私たちはもっと高みへ
むかえるのかもしれません

結局 最後は
お利口さんになってしまいました

ここまでお読みくださり
ありがとうございます

spring equnox

 

spring equinox with snow

as reflecting my inner world
had so much struggles and tears

with delight of meeting
and sadness of leaving

but i know there's so much light
behind the shades of snowing cloud
embracing the beginning of year

when we notice that we’re
in the light of so much love
we can go up
toward the source of light

 

morning visions

yesterday i woke up remembering the dream i dreamt
 
there were you living with me in my house
i was busy doing morning matters before leaving for work
 
busy morning of my normal daily life but with you
 


this morning i had a vision
that you were still sleeping next to me
 
i was waking up, seeing you in morning sun already light.
touching your hand and touching your face.
 
you opened your eyes, looked sleepy,
but smiling to me, as i did too.

 
the happiest morning ever

ever i've wished.

who you are

i don’t speak so many languages,
nor draw or paint so well.
i don’t really know how to grow plants,
and not work so much.

 
i don’t know how to be loved,
as you do all so well.



i’m tiny person, however
i know i still have something
that i can be loved as i am just me
you have led me to find it.

 

and you have something more.
it’s not what you’re doing


do you really think i want words like
'you are strong, smart, talented person'?
i rather want 'you may be small and weak but i still love you'

so i understand you don't either
although i'm so much proud of what you're doing 
but rather
it’s just you are existing
wherever you go
all the way you give me the bliss
that i’ve never ever known and tasted before
why can it be difficult for you to know it

 
remember who you really are
that you radiate happiness
and attract people to yourself
as i am to you always.

never knows but no doubt

i don't know how i can reach you

i don't know where you live

only the line you don't really answer
with messages you don't reply
i don't really know 
when you come back

but why you send me so much heat
i only live with the feeling
you holding my heart

when i close my eyes
there's only one thing i can see
ever glows and makes me cry
it's your love like a secret song
untold and sheltered in your heart
never releasing my hand

my magic words

hold my hands in yours
intertwine your fingers to mine
as they would never really be apart


 
hold me in your arms
gently or tightly
curl me up inside you
like a baby 
naked as i was born

feel my skin through your heat
as it merges into yours

 
kiss me my forehead
your lips on my cheeks
my neck, my ears...

touch me where
you haven't yet

 
soft voice whispering
is it yours or mine?
which takes me into the place
where i can hear 
only the sound of my little sigh
to which you ask what i'm suffering for


no it's too bright and beautiful
that i can only surrender 
as we always can't see the end

my silver lake

close your eyes
as i do too



it is my lake.

how can i express this?


floating, sparkling, spreading...
into deep or higher

as it always takes me to the space
where we can share
all and ever inside us

like the night of shallow purple sky we had
we see the shining surface of the water
under the light of full moon 
quietly and silently
without even speaking 
we feel it the same


oh how much i wish you could follow me
and let me share you this
ever and ever

as we promised to visit there to swim in...
i go backwards till you catch me


 

first snow

i once see with your eyes of a painter

but then with my eyes of a realist

cause it's so real 
it can't be anything else, can be?
 

oh my, oh my, oh my..., oh...
how can i express this for you
my picture can never express what i feel
nor my poor words
nothing is more than this beauty of nature


and i tell you
this is the moment i feel your light
you may light my sight and
make it so so divinely beautiful
that i can do nothing but only to cry 


and you just have to come here with me
cause i'm the only one who knows where it is...


you have so much left to see 
what i really wanted to share...

(it's been snowing from around noon

it has changed everything
i saw it on trees)