encounter

i've been listening to one song these days all the time continueing
 'song for someone' 

it reminds me of the moment i saw you for the first time. 
you were listening to something which you said chinese music. 
you were working alone, standing showing your back, 
i couldn't see your face 
but you looked alone, away from other people, 

i don't really remember what i thought then. 
but unconsciously i felt, wanted to reach to talk to you, 
like my friend's cat which found me and came to hold me, 
i was magnetized to you 
even when i didn't know you; 
even without the fact that you love things what i love
and the way of life which i also love

i wanted to sit near you when we had the late lunch all together. 
so i did, and to know about you more, the things like above.

i didn't know why the idea came to me to visit the gallery i brought you after work,
i only thought it's nice for both of us, because i really wanted to go there to see the potter's work. 

the thing which caught my heart most was that
you were just looking up into the air around 
to feel the atmosphere of the mountain
when we were to go back,
cause i was the one who always does the same.
i felt you were the one who have the same soul i can share with.

i wanted to stay talking with you as long as we can 
on the way back to the station, 
so i was happy there were fewer trains and i could drive to the next station. 

all these things happened so naturally 
and kept me feel so happy staying with you. 

what an encounter was brought to me..
and it never fade in me.
you changed my life, literally

for joy

 

i was wondering why and for what i continue posting, 
sending messages to you. 
to make you pleased? 
for my confidence? 
to keep in touch? 
not to make you go away?

i thought if this is to satisfy myself, 
nothing should have changed if i quit for a while. 
i will find any tiny happiness in my own life, 
you will stay in me, 
and you will do your things with your free will any way.

but at the same time i wondered if you would talk to me then, if i quit, 
whether you worry about me and ask if i'm ok, (like i did) or you just go away, 
and whether it would cause myself keep waiting and get nerves.  
i have asked many times and still asking myself inside, 
if this is what my self wants to, 
if i want to keep you here and make you worry, 
if i try to force.

and then i feel i dont want to, 
i cannot force anyone and anything.

and i remember i have found myself 
as a person who searches the light and the beauty from the nature
and shares them to you and other people.



i'm only here for joy
not to suffer
 
so again i try to continue it, hoping you still like it.

it's all up to mine as you were me, myself, 
cause we are all here for joy, not to suffer.  

what a intuition you brought me.

見つめる this kind

恋は盲目というけれど


この愛は
盲目ではなくて
見つめすぎるほど観ている

そこにいなくても

つねに視線があって
自分を客観的にみている

厳しいようであり
全てを包み込む暖かさもあり
受け入れる広さもあり

だまっていても

全てを語る眼差しがあり
愛撫する指先があり

光があり
閃きがあり

気づきをもたらしてくれる
学びを促してくれる

そんな存在



love is blind?

no
my love (as your love)
looks everything
to the most

even if you are not here physically

there are your eyes
watching me carefully

it sometimes makes me feel hard to get over
but always fully embraces me with your warmth
totally accepting me with your wide open arms
letting me learn to your shoulder

even if you keep silence

there are your eyes
telling me everything
fingers touching me with your tender

lighting my heart warm and bright
brinking me with intuitions

always makes me learn and leads me the way
i can solve myself with inspirations
putting me high with accelerated frequency


you are this kind of love